INGABA ukhulisa umntwana ofikisayo? Ukuba kunjalo ujongene nelinye lawona manqanaba alucelomngeni ekukhuleni komntwana wakho. Lisenokuba lelinye lawona manqanaba abangela uxinezeleko. Ngaba uqhelene nezi meko zilandelayo?

• Wawungumtya nethunga nonyana wakho xa wayesemncinane. Kodwa ngoku njengokuba ekwishumi elivisayo uhamba ngayibonayo, yaye uvakalelwa kukuba akasafuni nto yakwenza nawe.

• Xa yayisencinane intombi yakho, yayikuxelela yonke into. Kodwa ngoku ekubeni ifikisa ihlala ‘neetshomi zayo’ kuphela yaye uziva ungamkelekanga kuzo.

Ukuba into efana nale iyenzeka nakwakho, musa ukukhawuleza ucinge ukuba umntwana wakho yinjubaqa. Yintoni ke ngoko eyenzekayo? Ukuze siphendule loo mbuzo makhe siqwalasele indima ebalulekileyo ephunyezwa kukufikisa ekukhuleni komntwana wakho.

Ukususela ekuzalweni kuse phambili, ubomi bomntwana bunothotho lweziqalo—ukuqala kwakhe ukuhamba, ukuqala kwakhe ukuthetha, ukuqala kwakhe ukuya esikolweni, xa sibala nje ezimbalwa. Abazali bayavuya xa umntwana efikelela inqanaba ngalinye lokukhula kwakhe. Ukufikelwa kwalo kubonisa ukuba umntwana uyakhula nto leyo abathandayo ukuyibona abazali.

Nako ukufikisa kulinqanaba elibalulekileyo—nangona abanye abazali besenokungalivuyeli. Siyaqondakala isizathu sokuba baxhalabe. Ngaphezu koko, nguwuphi utata okanye umama ovuyiswayo kukubona umntwana obekade enentsebenziswano etshintsha abe ngomnye umntu? Noko ke, ukufikisa kulinqanaba elibalulekileyo lokukhula komntwana. Ngayiphi indlela?

IBhayibhile ithi ethubeni “indoda iya kumshiya uyise nonina.” (Genesis 2:24) Eyona njongo yokufikisa kukunceda unyana okanye intombi yakho ukuba balungele loo mini inkulu. Ngaloo mini, umntwana wakho umele akwazi ukuthetha amazwi ompostile uPawulos owathi: “Xa ndandilusana, ndandifudula ndithetha ngokosana, ndicinga ngokosana, ndiqiqa ngokosana; kodwa ekubeni ngoku ndiyindoda, ndizibhangisile iimpawu zobusana.”—1 Korinte 13:11.

Unyana okanye intombi yakho efikisayo yenza  kanye loo nto—ushiya imikhuba yobuntwana aze afunde ukuba ngumntu omdala, oqolileyo nonokukwazi ukuzimela engaxhomekekanga kubazali. Enye imbekiselo ide ithi ukufikisa lixesha lokulungiselela ukuthi “ndlelantle kubazali.”

Kuyavunywa ukuba ukucinga into yokuba unyana okanye intombi yakho iza kulishiya ikhaya kunokuyenza ingqondo yakho ithathe ibeka. Usenokubuza uthi:

• “Ukuba unyana wam akakwazi ukucoca kwa negumbi eli lakhe uza kukwazi kanjani ukugcina indlu yakhe icocekile?”

• “Ukuba intombi yam ayikwazi ukugcina ixesha esivumelene ngalo, iza kuqhuba njani emsebenzini?”

Ukuba nawe uxhalatyiswa zezi zinto khumbula: Inkululeko ayingomnyango nje angena kuwo umntwana wakho; kodwa luhambo olude oluthatha iminyaka. Okwangoku ubonile ukuba “ubudenge bubotshiwe entliziyweni yenkwenkwe”—okanye intombazana.—IMizekeliso 22:15.

Noko ke,xa eqeqeshwe kakuhle umntwana wakho uya kuthi xa edlula kwinqanaba lokufikisa abe ngumntu omdala onokuthenjwa, ‘omandla akhe okuqonda aqeqeshelwe ukwahlula okulungileyo nokubi.’—Hebhere 5:14.

Ukuze umntwana wakho alungele ukuba ngumntu omkhulu kufuneka umncede akhulise ‘amandla akhe engqiqo’ ukuze akwazi ukuzenzela izigqibo ezifanelekileyo. * (Roma 12:1, 2) Le migaqo yeBhayibhile ilandelayo iza kukunceda wenze kanye loo nto.

Filipi 4:5: “Ukuba nengqiqo kwenu makwazeke.” Umntwana wakho ucela into ethile, mhlawumbi ukuba linyenyiswe ixesha lokuba abuyele ekhaya. Usikhaba ngawo omane zisuka nje isicelo sakhe. Uyakhalaza esithi, “Undiphatha njengomntwana!” Ngaphambi kokuba uphendule uthi, “Nawe uziphatha njengomntwana,” cinga ngale nto: Abantwana abafikisayo bayathanda ukufuna inkululeko engakumbi kodwa bona abazali basenokubanika inkululeko encinane kunokuba bebenokubanika. Ngaba mhlawumbi awunakunyenyisa ngamaxesha athile? Kutheni ungakhe uzame ukubona izinto ngendlela azibona ngayo umntwana wakho?

Kolose 3:21: “Boyise musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu. Ukuba kunzima ukunikholisa, banokuse bayeke ukuzama ukunikholisa.”—International Children’s Bible. Abanye abazali bazama ukulawula yonke into eyenziwa ngabantwana babo. Ukuze balawule yonke into yakhe, bahlala bembeke phantsi kweliso elibukhali ngalo lonke ixesha. Bamkhethela abahlobo baze bazame ukuphulaphula nabantu ancokola nabo efowunini. Kodwa xa besenza ezo zinto, isikhuni sinokubuya nomkhwezeli. Ukumbeka esweni ngokugqithiseleyo kunokumenza afune iindlela zokusaba; ukuhlala ugxeka abahlobo bakhe kunokumenza atsaleleke ngakumbi kubo; nokuphulaphula abantu ancokola nabo efowunini kunokumenza afune iindlela ezifihlakeleyo zokuncokola nabahlobo bakhe. Okukhona uzama ukumlawula kunokuba kokukhona ephuma ezandleni. Enyanisweni, ukuba umntwana wakho akafundi ukuzenzela izigqibo ngoxa esahlala ekhaya, uya kukwazi njani ukuzenza xa sele engasahlali ekhaya?

 Efese 6:4: “Musani ukubacaphukisa abantwana benu, kodwa qhubekani nibakhulisela kwingqeqesho nasekweyiselweni kwengqondo kuYehova.” Ibinzana elithi “ekweyiselweni kwengqondo” lithetha okungakumbi kunokuhlohla ingqondo yomntwana ngezibakala. Kuthetha ukufikelela isazela somntwana ngendlela eya kuchaphazela izinto azenzayo. Ukumphatha ngale ndlela kubaluleke kakhulu xa umntwana efikisa. Omnye utata ogama linguAndre uthi “Xa umntwana esiya ekhula kufuneka uyitshintshe indlela omqeqesha ngayo uze uqiqe naye.”—2 Timoti 3:14.

Galati 6:7: “Loo nto ayihlwayelayo umntu, uya kuvuna kwayona.” Umntwana unokuqeqeshwa nangokohlwaywa—mhlawumbi ukuhlaliswa yedwa egumbini lakhe okanye angavunyelwa ukwenza into ethile ayithandayo. Xa uqeqesha abantwana abafikisayo kuhle ukuba ubenze bacinge ngemiphumo.—IMizekeliso 6:27.

Njengomzali mhlawumbi unqwenela ukuba ukufikisa bekulinqanaba elilula kubomi bomntwana. Kodwa ke akukho lula. Nakuba kunjalo, ukufikisa komntwana wakho kukunika ithuba elihle lokuba ‘uyiqeqeshe inkwenkwe ngokwendlela yayo.’ (IMizekeliso 22:6) Imigaqo yeBhayibhile sisiseko esiqinileyo onokulwakhela phezu kwaso ulonwabo lwentsapho yakho.