Dlulela kokuphakathi

USIZO LOMNDENI | UKUKHULISA IZINGANE

Indlela Yokuqondisa Ingane

Indlela Yokuqondisa Ingane

 Okufanele ukwazi

 Kwamanye amasiko namuhla, izingane zisondelene eduze nabazali bazo futhi zibheka kubo ukuze zithole isiqondiso. Kwamanye amasiko, izingane ngokuvamile ziya kontanga yazo ukuze zithole isiqondiso.

 Ukuya kontanga kuyalilulaza igunya labazali. Empeleni, lapho lezo zingane sezineminyaka ela ko-12, cishe abazali bazo bayobe sebephawula ukuthi azibezwa nhlobo. Akumangazi lokho! Lapho izingane zichitha isikhathi esiningi nezinye izingane, kuba sengathi zikhuliswe ngezinye izingane hhayi abazali bazo.

 Kungani kulula kangaka ngezingane ukuba zisondelane kakhulu nontanga yazo futhi zilahlekelwe ukuxhumana nabazali bazo? Cabanga ngamaphuzu alandelayo.

  •   Isikole. Lapho izingane zichitha isikhathi esiningi nezinye izingane, ziyasondelana futhi zingase zikubheke njengokubalulekile ukwamukelwa ontanga yazo ngaphezu kokwamukelwa abazali bazo. Lowo mbono ungakhula kakhulu lapho izingane ziba neminyaka engaphezu kweyishumi nambili.

    Izingane kufanele zifise ukwamukelwa abazali ukudlula ukwamukelwa ontanga ezifunda nabo

  •   Isikhathi esincane nindawonye. Emindenini eminingi, lapho izingane zibuya esikoleni zifika ekhaya elingenamuntu, mhlawumbe ngenxa yokuthi umzali noma abazali basemsebenzini.

  •   Isiko lentsha. Ngesikhathi ifika eminyakeni yobusha, intsha igxila esikweni lentsha nemithetho yalo okufanele ihambisane nayo, okuhlanganisa ukuthi kufanele igqoke kanjani, indlela yokukhuluma, nendlela yokwenza. Ngokuvamile ezinganeni, lokho okucatshangwa ngontanga yikhona okubaluleke kunalokho okucatshangwa abazali.

  •   Ezokukhangisa. Abamabhizinisi bagxila emikhiqizweni eminingi nakwezokuzijabulisa okuningi okwenzelwe ngokukhethekile intsha, okulivula ngisho nakakhulu igebe phakathi kwayo nabazali. UDkt. Robert Epstein uyabhala: “Uma isiko lentsha lingavele linyamalale, eziningi zalezi zinkampani ezingenisa izigidi zemali zingawa ngokuphazima kweso.” a

 Ongakwenza

  •   Hlala usondelene nengane yakho.

     IBhayibheli lithi: “La mazwi engikuyala ngawo namuhla kumelwe abe senhliziyweni yakho, kumelwe uwagxilise kubantwana bakho futhi ukhulume ngawo lapho uhleli endlini yakho nalapho uhamba endleleni nalapho ulala nalapho uvuka.”—Duteronomi 6:6, 7.

     Ontanga bangaba abangani, kodwa akufanele bathathe indima yakho njengomzali. Nazi izindaba ezinhle: Ochwepheshe bathi izingane eziningi kanye nentsha ziyabahlonipha abazali bazo futhi zifuna ukubajabulisa. Uma ugcina ubuhlobo obuseduze nezingane zakho, uyoba nethonya elikhulu kuzo ngaphezu kontanga yazo.

     “Kufanele uchithe isikhathi nezingane zakho, nenze imisebenzi yansuku zonke ndawonye, njengokupheka, ukuhlanza, ngisho nemisebenzi yesikole yasekhaya. Yenzani izinto ezijabulisayo ndawonye—dlalani imidlalo, nibukele amamuvi noma i-TV. Ungacabangi ukuthi nidinga isikhathi esikhethekile—esingamahora ambalwa nje kuphela. Isikhathi esikhethekile asikuvali ukungabi bikho kwesikhathi esiningi!”—ULorraine.

  •   Unganeliswa nje ukuthi banabangani abangontanga yabo.

     IBhayibheli lithi: “Ubuwula buboshelwe enhliziyweni yengane.”—IzAga 22:15.

     Abanye abazali baneliswa ukubona ukuthi izingane zabo zinabangani abaningi. Nokho, qaphela ukuthi nakuba ukuba nabangani abangontanga kungayisiza ingane ukuba ibonakale izwana nabanye, ontanga abayenzi ibe nezinhlobo ezihlukahlukene zabangani. Kanti futhi ontanga abanikezi isiqondiso nokuhola osemusha akudingayo okunganikezwa kangcono abazali abanothando.

     “Ontanga bengane bangase babe nolwazi lwezinto ezithile, kodwa kuningi kakhulu abangakwazi ngokuphila, bantula ukuhlakanipha kokusiza abanye abasebasha ukuba benze izinqumo ezinhle. Lapho intsha ifunda esibonelweni sabazali, iyakhula futhi ivuthwe ngendlela efanele iminyaka yayo.”—UNadia.

  •   Nikeza isiqondiso esihlakaniphile.

     IBhayibheli lithi: “Ohamba nabahlakaniphile uyohlakanipha.”—IzAga 13:20.

     Ngisho nalapho sezikhulile, izingane zakho ziyozuza kakhulu ngokuchitha isikhathi nawe. Yiba yisibonelo esihle ezingasilingisa.

     “Isibonelo esibaluleke kakhulu izingane ezingasilingisa esabazali bazo. Lapho izingane zifundiswa ukuthanda nokuhlonipha abazali bazo, ziyokhula zifune ukuba njengabo.”—UKatherine.

a Kucashunwe encwadini ethi Teen 2.0—Saving Our Children and Families From the Torment of Adolescence.